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Daddy Ball: the painful reality of youth sports

What do I mean by “daddy’s ball”? I mean a situation in a youth sport such as baseball, football, soccer, hockey, basketball, or any other competitive youth sport where a parent coaches the team and plays with their child above where they fall athletically. In short, daddy ball refers to the coach’s child who plays in preferred positions or increases playing time, to the exclusion of other more athletically gifted competitors.

Having raised two children, I can say that there is nothing as painful as watching a coach play the game to advance his own son’s talents. When a game is played and it clearly revolves around the coach’s son, unless he’s the best athlete on the team, he’s dad.

In baseball, you might see the daddy ball coach’s son hitting ahead of players with higher batting averages, playing shortstop or pitching frequently and not getting the job done. In soccer, it usually involves longer playing time and the position of quarterback or running back, or you can see in most short and goal situations mainly a kid having a chance to be the hero and score the touchdown, of course, the coach’s son.

Regardless of the sport, the concept is the same: when a child has playtime or a position that is not earned through their own hard work and athletic ability or if others who can do the work don’t have the opportunity, so the coach’s son can play more, he’s daddy ball.

I view coaches who play with their son above where he falls athletically as fooling his son, the other kids, the team, and himself. What do I mean by that bold statement?

A coach who doesn’t make his son earn his job has trained the boy to expect something for nothing. Continued over time, the boy expects to get things delivered and has little incentive to do the hard work necessary to beat other young athletes and actually earn what he gets.

Would that be the type of employee you would like to hire outside of college? That is why I say, the coach who did not make his son really earn his place on the team has cheated on his own son.

It’s easy to say that the other teammates who may have higher batting averages, or who were better able to play a spot, were duped because the coach’s son was able to play it.

The boys have few; With the same consideration as their coach, if they try hard, have a good attitude and can beat another kid, they deserve to take the place.

A coach, who will not play as the best kid for the job to work on another schedule, improving his own son’s ability, should not be coaching the team.

Daddy ball also serves to deceive the team, as a team, because when the boys do not play where they fall athletically, the team will be less competitive and the boys will be less motivated. Resulting in a team that is not all that it could have been.

Well, how does the coach playing daddy’s ball fool himself?

A trainer who plays with his son above his athletic ability to the detriment of the most qualified children has failed in his primary mission as a parent, which is to properly prepare his son to leave the nest and stand on his own 2 feet. When children do not experience winning by their own efforts and truly competing, they suffer.

How do you avoid daddy’s ball?

The main way to avoid daddy’s ball is to coach the team yourself. But if you do, take a careful and objective measure of each child’s athletic ability and play accordingly, lest you fall into the role of daddy ball as a coach.

One way to lessen the impact of daddy’s ball is to include your son on a team led by a dad whose son is clearly the best athlete on the team. In that situation, it will be difficult for the coach to play the son over children with more athletic inclinations.

Or if you can afford it, the best way to avoid daddy’s ball is to play with your kids with a coach who has no kids on the team. This will be a paid professional coach or someone who really loves the game. If you choose the paid coach route, ask the paid coach tough questions before joining the team, as some paid coaches seem to feel obligated to the parent helping coach or team up and you may find your child back on the team. same situation that you were trying to avoid.

My observation has been that coaches who play ball usually deny the situation. They usually have eyes for a guy on the team, yours.

Some coaches feel that by coaching the team they have earned the right to play with their child wherever and however they want and for the reasons stated above, I mean find another team.

Talking to Daddy Ball’s coach has little chance of success because it involves his own son. If you talk to the coach, be very careful to keep the conversation about facts and not opinions.

In baseball, that may mean keeping your batting statistics yourself or another objective measure depending on the sport and the situation. You can give the coach the batting averages of all the players on the team and he will get the message without saying a word.

With the daddy ball coach, the best option for your child may be to finish the season and more carefully select another team next year.

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