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Have you been “sharking”?

I used to be a shark. Remember me? In the bars…the clubs…parties…at the festivals…Walking through the crowd, scanning, scanning. No eye contact with the other guys, just a critical, objectifying, cold stare, searching for… Women. HOT women, to be exact.

Yeah, I used to be that guy. My eyes fell on one woman after another, before dismissing her and moving on to the next. What about her? Nah, her hair looks a bit stringy. Next…

Hmm, now THIS girl is cute… oh, her butt is a little fat. Next. Other men were not similar human beings; they were “obstacles”, “competition” or “blocks”.

Today I notice these guys precisely because of how little they notice me. Tense, contracted, critical look. Looking to “get” the next “hot women”. The fact is, a man just doesn’t appear this way unless he’s looking to fulfill a great need.

Yes… that’s “shark”. And those were some dark days, my friend, because inside I was hurting. And yet, when I finally realized that it would *never* be realized by anything outside of Me, I stopped. I mean, who cares how many hot women I have if I still feel empty inside?

It’s like trying to keep a bucket full of holes full of water…it’s a lot of work!

So, here’s a quick check to see if you’ve been sharking:

Q: Do you barely make eye contact with other men at social events? Are they more like objects in your consciousness, potential obstructions for you to meet the girls you want?

Q: No matter how much success you enjoy with women, when you get really honest with yourself, you know that it will never be enough… that you are trying to fill some kind of void inside…

Q: You immediately scan any social event you’re at, assess the attractiveness of all available women, and if there are no women you find immediately attractive, you get bored/anxious and want to leave…

If you answered yes to any of these questions, chances are you, like me, have some type of validation need.

I have since discovered how powerful Appreciation is. It is the second level of our Inner Game Training Model and when I discovered it for myself it was like warm sunlight shining on what used to be dark, dreary, gray waters. If this sounds like a happy-go-lucky word, then you still don’t get it.

Without a full and complete Appreciation for who you are and who you are with, in any given moment, you are, to some extent, suffering.

But when I *am* appreciating… what a difference! The whole world, women included, seems to open up to me. By letting go of my attachment to things going a certain way, I am free to enjoy myself, regardless of external circumstances. Paradoxically, the women who see me having fun, celebrating them and everyone else are getting “turned on”, and are now turning their attention to ME.

Besides, who needs a shark when all the fish come to you?

Exercise: The next time you’re at a party or social event, practice smiling and making real contact with EVERYONE you meet, boys and girls, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Find something you can appreciate about each of them. And see what kind of difference it makes to the quality of your interactions and your evening.

Whether you’re a shark, an ex-shark, or a never-shark, the first step to avoiding the pitfalls we screw up in our relationships with women is awareness. For a FREE special report from AMP on the ultimate guide to overcoming the ‘inner game’ trouble spots with women (illustrated with embarrassing photos of me),

Get it now:

Bryan Bayer CEO, Authentic Man Program

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