This is a difficult question, write to see or live. Before life more or less left me in one place, I was more active in the field of missing/abused children, primarily working directly from a foundation in Pinole, California with families of missing children. I was responsible for press information, and what experience? Well, I organized a craft show to raise money and I stayed. We discovered that it was something he could do, and do it well. But it was very difficult, not being trained.

I read and read, then worked (volunteer again) with a missing children’s magazine, but learned I worked better alone…and started writing what I needed, for security information to help.

This is not an easy thing to write, but it is an important project to do. If you feel that a child in your family has been or may be in a situation that could lead to them being raped, you should ask questions. Take a deep breath. You can do it.

Depending on the age of the child, you will need a good approach. With the situation that she had, the girl was 2 almost 3 years old, and she had already been listening to talks about good touching and not so good touching with her mother. The information that she had given to her mother was to let the child know that there are parts of her body that are not for everyone to be around or touch, and if you ever feel weird, tell someone. It’s never your fault, but you should tell someone like mom or dad, if they were wearing a diaper, I suggested an approach that worked, and it just so happened that the mom just couldn’t handle talking to the little boy. So I did. And, the boy was comfortable with me.

He had told her that it was perfectly fine for someone he knew to change his diaper. It would be silly to leave a wet diaper. She smiled and nodded as her mom tried to potty train her. Therefore, it is okay for her to remove her diaper when it is wet. But she then she said, “But, if someone takes his diaper off when it’s dry and doesn’t leave it that way. I’d be silly not to put the diaper back on.” The boy nodded once more and was laughing. he finished changing her diaper.

I asked her if someone had taken her diaper off when it was wet and then put it back on her wet. She said noooooo… I asked her if someone took her diaper off when it was dry and then left it on her. She said yes. My heart sank.

I then asked her if anyone had ever touched her, in the dry diaper area, when her diaper was not dry, she said yes, then pointed and put her hand up. I said, “So, that’s how it was” and she said no, and she showed me, so it was clear that mom needed to call the police, since she had actually indicated information that she shouldn’t have at her age. .

I ended the session by telling her that I was so glad we had this talk, that Mom and Dad needed to talk to her, that she didn’t do anything wrong, that she didn’t have a problem. But, sometimes things happen and it’s not their fault, and other people have to talk to her too, there would be her favorite doctor, maybe a policeman, and maybe one more person whose only job was to make sure she was safe and happy and very loved and protected. I asked her if she was okay with all of this. She looked a little puzzled, then she nodded. I told her that she could come see me whenever she wanted, that she would tell her mom and she was very happy about it. Hugs and kisses followed, and she left happy and not knowing what was going to happen next.

Police departments, hospitals, get your own pediatrician if possible, and they will notify child protective services. They have a work routine for this. Boy, that sounds cold and insensitive, I know. But how else can these first responders cope with what they have to see and do to help families, babies, in these situations?

You do what you can to show support for the parents, or if you are the parents, show support for your child. There will be referral to family services for therapy. The boy has done nothing wrong, and we must let the professionals do their job. There are times when that is not enough, but do the best you can for the child.

keep notepad and pen close
* large chair/sofa to be able to talk to the child, snuggle up if possible
* if the child is not yours, or does not feel comfortable being touched, let him sit wherever he wants, you ask where he wants you to sit, then do it. Don’t cross his limits…