Should I text my ex?
You have given it a lot of thought and decided that you and your ex have something special that is worth fighting for. You never wanted a breakup in the first place, but now that it’s happened, you want to do everything you can to save it. But you’re left with one pressing question: “Should I text my ex?”
If you’ve read a lot of relationship advice online, you may have developed a negative view of texting when it comes to breakups and trying to win your ex back. Most experts tell her not to. They are afraid that you will say the wrong thing or do it in the wrong way and end up scaring your ex forever.
They might be right, but avoiding texting altogether when communicating with your ex greatly limits your ability to win him back. After all, texting through an iPhone or other smartphone is one of the most powerful forms of communication we have. You and your ex probably texted all day when you were together.
While texting your ex isn’t always a good idea, simply dismissing him as useless would be a bad move. When done the right way, texting can increase passion and romance, heal old wounds, build desire and intimacy, turn your ex’s negative emotions into something positive, and open him up to the idea of being with you again. And they can do it all without being pushy or nosy.
So should you text your ex? Yes, if you stick to a few key principles that I’m about to share with you. By following the principles below, you’ll have a much better chance of having a positive texting experience with your ex.
Should I text my ex? 5 key principles
1.) Text your ex only after you’ve been out of touch for at least a month. This is commonly known as the “no contact rule” and gives you a chance to decide what you really want. It also allows all the “stuff” from your past relationship to go away so you don’t have to deal with runaway emotions from yourself or your ex.
2.) Text your ex only if they still show emotion towards you. It can be positive or negative emotion, but there has to be emotion. An apathetic ex (showing no good or bad emotions) will be extremely difficult to get back and it’s best to move on when that’s the case.
3.) Text your ex only if you can accept that you may not get a response. Not getting a response (especially to the first few text messages) is normal and nothing to worry about.
In fact, your first few texts should be in a format that doesn’t pressure your ex to respond. The fact that your ex does not respond does not mean that your messages have no effect.
4.) Never text your ex more than twice in a row without getting a response. Sending multiple texts like “Did you get my message?”, “Why don’t you reply?”, “I sent you 3 texts and haven’t heard from you yet” is a big no-no so don’t do it .
5.) Only text your ex if you’re willing to be the first to end the conversation. The one who has the last word is the one who has the power in the relationship.
You can respond in different ways depending on whether you get a positive, negative, or neutral response from your ex, but you should always be the first to end the conversation with something like “Okay, I have to go. We’ll talk later.” Never get into big, long arguments with your ex over text when you’re trying to win him back (even if the conversation is going great).