Tips for dating an Italian woman
Dating an Italian woman can be tricky, not because of her personality traits, but because, simply put, she’s not American. So here’s your first piece of advice: if you’re going to date an Italian, you’re going to have to think like one and that means letting go of some bad dating habits Americans may be used to. For example, the Italian woman does not play. While the American may play “hard to get” or use some sort of “reverse psychology,” the Italian tends to be very direct and expects the same. She has no patience with a man who waits 3 days before calling because she wants to play it cool. If you like her, show her, otherwise she will quickly lose interest.
Do you have passion? Go ahead! When it comes to love and desire, the Italian takes the gold medal. And the further south you go, the more passionate she is (I mean the country, not the body-focus!) The Italian woman feels comfortable with her body and therefore exudes a sense of freedom that translates into confidence both in and outside the bedroom. This does not mean that she is promiscuous; she just doesn’t question herself! If she feels the chemistry and she’s really into it, you’re into her! (Sorry for the pun). It goes without saying that “no” means “no” in either language, so if you’ve done your best and she’s still not impressed, walk away, my friend.
Ask an American woman out at the last minute and she’ll ask a million questions before she answers… “Are you asking me now because I’m your second choice?” “If I say ‘yes,’ will he think I’m a loser because I didn’t have any plans?” You get the picture. Ask an Italian woman the same thing, and she’ll have her foot out the door before you can finish your sentence! Yes, she is adventurous! She lives life to the fullest and thinks about the consequences later, if she ever does! So go ahead and ask her for a last minute date. The worst thing she can say is “I have plans” (and she will indeed!)
It is fascinating that in a society dominated by the family unit, Italian women often choose to live together rather than marry. This is for many reasons beyond the scope of this article, however, suffice it to say that divorces can take several years in Italy, if not longer, and that many Italians prefer not to have children, which begs the question ” Why get married? Doesn’t seem very traditional, does it? Well, if your idea of an Italian woman is one who slaves in the kitchen and brings her man coffee in bed, you may be thinking of her mother! Today’s Italian woman is more like her American counterpart in that she has a career as well as personal goals and aspirations. However, she is equally satisfied, if not more so, by her family, with or without children. Given the choice between “alone time” and a family gathering, the Italian woman will most likely choose the latter. In general, she has a good handle on the important things in life, which is rooted in her upbringing, so you’ll need to respect that if you’re going to enter her world. Translation: leave your Blackberry at home when you’re on your date.
When it comes to impressing an Italian woman, nothing works better than speaking her language. You don’t have to be fluent or have a good pronunciation, but knowing a few words, especially in the context of dating, will go a long way. Believe me, I’ve seen some of my Italian friends accept dates from American men who didn’t have much to do except say all the right things…in Italian! So put in the effort, and if she’s not impressed, you’ll still be ahead of the game because you’ll be able to impress an American woman just the same!
If an Italian woman has accepted your proposal for a date, it is very important that you dress accordingly. Italian women laugh at the fact that American men wear sneakers and sweatshirts when they should be wearing shoes and a button-down shirt. You don’t have to wear a suit, but don’t appear like you just showered at the gym. She expects you to put in the same effort she did preparing for you (without the makeup, hopefully).
She invited you to dinner at her house, now what? Note that this could mean you, her, and her family, since it is very common for adults to live with their parents if they are not married. Either way, don’t go empty-handed, EVEN IF she tells you not to bring anything! She carries flowers or dessert. Alternatively, if you take her to a restaurant, don’t expect her to pay anything. If she tries to offer you money, DON’T take it! Chivalry still rules in some parts of the world!
It is very common to see Italian women staring at both men and other women. While this might be considered rude in America, it’s perfectly normal to watch people this way in Italy. So leave the jealousy and insecurities at home (along with that Blackberry) and enjoy being in her presence.
In the event that your relationship leads to commitment, you’ll be happy to know that Italian women don’t typically wear engagement rings as we know it here in the United States. Depending on the region of Italy, you can have a simple band, an understated diamond ring, or sometimes nothing at all. (You can stop smiling now.)
The last and most important piece of advice I can give you is to be confident. Italian women like strong and passionate men. They turn away from the weak. You may feel intimidated, embarrassed, or sick (hopefully not all at the same time), but don’t let him know or you’ll be toast.
Good luck! (Good luck!)