Webster’s dictionary defines friendship as a relationship in which one knows, likes, admires, and trusts another or in which one is allied with another in a cause, or in which one supports a group or movement. I define friendship as a relationship between two people based on mutual respect, affection and admiration.

We can experience true friendship with people we know well and are close to for many years, or with people whose lives intersect with ours only briefly. True friendship is a way of relating to another human being.

There are times when friendship is not positive, when it is critical, shallow, and domineering. Many years ago there was a classic movie, “Marty”, which illustrates a superficial and critical relationship that is mistaken for a true friendship. Marty is a lonely 34-year-old bachelor who doesn’t get along with women. He describes himself as short, stocky, and ugly, but a nice guy. He meets a lonely, simple and nice woman named Clara in a pub, who looks a lot like him. She lives a wonderful evening full of laughter, talk, friendship and a possible budding romance. When Marty returns to her friends, they find fault with her and tell Marty, “What a dog he is. Uglee! You didn’t even kiss him. Why waste your time with a dog like that?” His friends influence him to hang out with them instead of calling Clara, which he really wants to do. Marty turns his back on Clara and the hope she represents, in order to maintain the approval of her friends.

But what kind of friends are they? They are blind to Marty’s feelings. They only care about their own activities. These so-called friends are critical, demanding, and superficial.
There are times when we are confused about friendships. Why do we have this confusion about true friends? Perhaps we experience this confusion because we fear taking risks, facing rejection, or being alone. So how do we develop true friendships? How do we make the kind of friend who is a comrade who shares the good times and the bad, to whom we can open our hearts? What does it take to be a good friend?

To be a good friend, to make true friends, we need to take specific actions and make them a regular part of our daily lives.
A true friend listens well, attentively and lets the other person know his willingness to try to understand. The listening process requires sensitivity and insight, to see beyond the spoken words and discover hidden feelings.
Being a true friend requires honesty, which sometimes means giving and accepting criticism. However, we must be careful not to harshly criticize or embarrass a friend in public.
Being a true friend requires us to admit mistakes and say, “I was wrong, forgive me.”
Being a true friend requires us to be there to share not only the happy and successful moments but also the moments of pain and tears.
Being a true friend means realizing that there may be times to step back and be quiet, just to be there without intruding.
Ralph Waldo Emersoin offered the best advice on true friendship: “The only way to have a friend is to be one.”