What does it really mean when a husband doesn’t spend time with his wife? Does it signal the end of the marriage? How serious is it? What can you do to change this situation? I’ll do my best to address these questions, so read on …
Meaning n. # 1: Doesn’t understand the importance of spending time with you.
When a husband does not spend time with his wife, one of the reasons could be that he does not realize how important it is to spend time with his wife to maintain a happy marriage. No matter how much modern society has changed, nurturing a relationship is still largely a women’s job because men are simply not equipped with the “how to have good relationships” skills.
While building close relationships with others comes naturally to women, men tend to feel lost. So don’t assume your husband understands your need for quality time together. You might think that it is more important that you work hard in your career to support the family. In fact, according to his standards, he may even think that he is spending enough time with you. If this is the case, your solution might be to gently ask “Can we go out to dinner together on Friday?” Give your husband specific instructions and see if he is willing to make time for you.
Meaning # 2: He is trying to fix things on his own (retreating to his “man cave”).
Sometimes it just takes peace and quiet to think. Men like to solve problems on their own because asking others for help can seem like a sign of weakness. So if your husband spends less time with you than usual, he may be worried about something and need time alone to figure things out.
Ask your husband if something is bothering him and tell him that you are willing to listen. If it opens, please keep very quiet and just listen. Don’t give advice. Do not add comments. Just keep your mouth shut and listen. When it stops, say “Tell me more” and be quiet. Don’t try to solve his problems for him unless he asks you to. Always ask permission before giving advice.
But what if it doesn’t open up and share? Then leave him alone and when he comes to you give him a big smile and tell him you missed him. If this still doesn’t work, try writing him a letter to tell him how you feel.
Meaning n. # 3: You should focus on putting the fun back in your relationship.
The best way to encourage your husband to spend more time with you is to make interactions with you fun. Don’t just stick to your old boring routine; don’t throw all the family problems on him as soon as you see him. Focus on always doing something fun and exciting first! Help him associate pleasure with your company.
I know it’s hard to cheer up and be light and fun when you’re feeling stressed about your marriage. However, dwelling on things and being depressed and angry about it will not serve your goal of attracting your husband to spend more time with you.
Too often, we get caught up with the mundane responsibilities and tasks of married life, so we don’t give ourselves enough time to have fun. Smile more; laugh more; Become more of the funny and charming woman your husband married and maybe you will be successful in kissing the worries of “the husband does not spend time with his wife” goodbye!