At some point in their lives, most women will have to choose between their careers and the possibility of starting a family. In the 21st century, is it possible for a woman to have both? The current economic climate dictates that both men and women need to work as many hours as possible. The global recession is hitting home. There are so many permutations. Part time, full time, job sharing, work from home, self employment. The good thing for would-be working moms is that they have a choice. For women, there is a lot of pressure around the phrase ‘working mother’, mainly from other women and male employers. Once a mother has made the decision to return to work, there are a thousand things to worry about.
Childcare, natural bonding, travel planning, time management β ββin fact, the list can be endless. But examining a group of women’s motives for returning to their careers reveals much more than financial concerns. Many young women who had achieved seniority within their spheres believed that their employers were ‘holding them back’, in case they decided to have children at some point. Many of those who reached the top of their careers and later had children found that their job description would have been altered, that promotion would no longer be an option, or that their hours would be drastically reduced. But the argument here is that if they got to senior positions in the first place, it’s because they’re good at their job.
A child does not alter that fact, but it does alter how everyone else perceives the woman herself. When that woman is balancing a primary occupation with arranging for a babysitter, day care, transportation, shopping, cooking, and running a home, strangers may start asking questions about her commitment to work or family. Other women often attack indirectly. ‘I don’t know if you do’ can often really mean ‘I don’t think you should’. Then there is the problem of feeling guilty about leaving young children with day care. Who is really raising them? What if they are sick? How is that reflected in the mother? Does she really love her son? For women it seems difficult enough without having to answer questions about their maternal instincts. A man is never questioned about his paternal instincts, as men are expected to work and provide a solid basic standard of living for their family. A married working mother may wish to continue working to maintain her own standards, enjoy the day with adult conversation, or simply wish to maintain her own identity. Susan may want everyone to see her as ‘Susan’, not ‘Eve’s mom’.
But single moms have the hardest time of all. The alternative to work is living off benefits, which some may accept, but most may not. A single mother may not be able to afford child care and may have to rely much more on friends and family. Working part-time or working from home are great options, but like everyone else, a single mother wants to ensure a decent future for her child. Aside from the financial rewards, working ensures that women feel ‘in control’ of some aspect of their lives. It may not be fun to leave the house early and be late for cooking and housework, but it tends to lead to independent, solid, well-rounded children. Days when one or both parents can spend quality time with the children makes that time that much more special and valuable. Working women, in general, are much more patient and tend to do more as a family during their free time than mothers who are with their children 24/7. While working moms may not be available at all times to provide as much support as they should, they usually do what they can. Life is never perfect, but until men are able to see a woman’s point of view, it never will be.