It may seem like an awkward question, but most of us get a little nervous when we have our first lesbian experiences. I recommend that you take a little time and take it easy. Here are some tips to help make your first lesbian experience successful and mutually rewarding.
first time sex with another woman
Learn about women. Yes, even if you are a woman, you should take some time to learn about other types of women. How do they think? What are your fantasies? What turns them on? Learn what you can by participating in online chats and forums. Go to Google or your favorite search engine and do some research on how to make love to a lesbian woman. You’ll be amazed at some of the resources online and how much you can learn by browsing them.
Learn about yourself. Yes, take some time to get to know yourself. What motivates you? What are your fantasies? What takes away from you? Go ahead…it’s okay to play with yourself! As you touch yourself, take note of what turns you on. Chances are your partner likes the same thing. Be sure to tell your partner what you like too so they know how to please you.
Learn about lesbian dynamics. Female-to-female sexual experiences tend to be a little different, well, a lot different than what men have. Women tend to make deeper emotional connections with their partner. There tends to be more kissing and cuddling. The sex is intense and passionate but also very affectionate and close. Sex between women can take many forms. For example, some women prefer clitoral stimulation while others prefer to be penetrated. Some prefer genital massage while others prefer oral. Others like to break out the sex toys and use strap-ons or vibrators. Some are perverted or like role-playing games. There are as many ways to make love to a lesbian as there are lesbians. Take the time to find out what drives her crazy. The possibilities should be fun to explore, not intimidating.
There is no right or wrong way. Lesbians and bisexuals can have sex any way they want for mutual pleasure, just based on what they want and what feels good. Many lesbians have satisfying and varied sex lives due to the level of intimacy that two women can achieve and the fact that they tend to know what pleases another woman. Be creative and explore your partner.
Take care. Leave alcohol and drugs out of your new sexual experience. If you must have a drink or two to relax, that may be fine, but be very careful. If you overdo it, you may find yourself doing something embarrassing to ruin the moment or even the possibility of a relationship if that’s your goal. Knowing your partner is also a big concern. Women are also capable of violence (although not as often as men) and can give you a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Safe sex must be discussed. Do you have herpes, HIV or some other disease that you should know about?
Relax and take it easy. Take the time to get to know your partner before you jump in the sack for some crazy, passionate sex, especially if it’s your “first time out.” It’s probably best to ditch your sex toys and kinky stuff the first few times. Sure you can talk about it, but keep it simple at first. Slowly explore each other, kiss, nibble and work her way slowly undressing her and showing her appreciation. Press your body against hers. Everyone has different erogenous zones, so take it easy and explore with your fingers, mouth, and body. Make a mental note each time you react positively. You may want to come back to that later. Everything you learn during this stage of foreplay will prepare you both for the sexual part.
Ask him questions and talk. It’s okay to talk to her while exploring her body with her mouth and her fingers. If you have any doubt, just ask if she likes it. She’ll let you know and she’ll probably be glad you asked. Tell him where you like to be touched and what turns you on. Make sure to reward her with moans or words of approval when she does something you like. She is exploring you at the same time you are exploring her and she is trying to learn what makes your engine tick. Communication has to work both ways. Also, if something is off limits sexually, it’s probably best to be honest about it.
Be realistic about the first time. You will most likely do well after your first lesbian experience. You’ll be relieved and probably ready to do it again! You and your partner may or may not have an orgasm the first time, but the important thing is that you become intimate, touch skin and give way to your sexual desires. Just remember that sex between two people is something that should get better with time and experience. Talk about it, think about it and practice makes perfect!
Have fun with your first woman-on-woman sexual experience!