Have you completely forgotten about your physical needs since the death of your loved one? Perhaps you have lost all interest in life. Are you afraid to focus your attention on anything other than the deceased, because you think doing so means he is being disrespectful?
Forgetting oneself and thinking that any form of enjoyment during grief is wrong causes unnecessary suffering to millions of mourners. The beliefs that feed these behaviors exist and are reinforced based on the lack of information about the nature of the complaint process.
Grieving is hard mental and physical work; It affects all organs and systems of the body. The most important thing to understand is that what you think about and how you perceive the death of your loved one is a major stressor. At first stress is overlooked. As the days go by, the constant stress begins to take its toll in the form of confusion, lack of sleep, colds, headaches, and digestive disorders.
If you don’t take consistent breaks from your grievance, eventually the stress of grief will force you to stay out of it. Here are some ways to be kind to yourself, maintain your health, and minimize the chances of extending your complaint work.
1. Kindness to yourself begins with the intention of changing your old beliefs that you can’t enjoy yourself at any time during grief. Your natural inclinations will be to fight to change these beliefs. But give yourself a break; you are not betraying your loved one. Each day plan a moment, or if you prefer, when you feel the need, excuse yourself to take care of yourself. Refuse to deny yourself. What can you do?
2. Go to your private place. Choose a place in your home where you can be free from the noise of other people talking and the phone ringing. Too much time with other people during the day can limit the time you need alone to consider certain aspects of the death and your grievance without interruption.
This is where restoration through meditation, music, solitude, or rest will replenish the severe loss of energy associated with grief (fear, anger, guilt, and depression consume tremendous amounts of energy). If you can’t be alone early on, for whatever reason, ask a friend to come with you while you take your breather.
3. Be kind to yourself with the benefits of beauty. Go to a beautiful area near your home. Whenever the opportunity arises and you see a beautiful painting, a tree, a body of water or a scene, use it as a sign that a power greater than yourself is saying to you, pause and enjoy. Beauty is a powerful stress reducer and healer. Focus all your attention on him. Your body will greatly benefit from this mental relaxation and it is perfectly fine to redirect your attention in this way.
4. At appropriate times, whatever you feel is appropriate is appropriate, immerse yourself in loving memories that include (or not) your loved one. Think of times when you felt loved. Review the details of the setting, the people involved, what was said, and what was given or received. Think about what was learned in those moments and how you could provide others with the ideas you received. Love will help you get over your great loss.
5. Be kind to yourself by putting off important decisions. Selling your house right away, or walking away from memories of life with your loved one, can increase your burden, if done too soon. They can easily turn into additional losses for you as time goes on and you look back on what was given away. If possible, give yourself a year to consider big moves or decisions. Be sure to consult friends, experts, and family for information. Then make a decision based on what you want.
6. Take some time to read, not just books by other people who have dealt with loss, but also by thoughtful authors like Thomas Moore, Henri Nouwen, Wayne Dyer, and others who can give you new insights and help you in the important quest. of meaning. . He may not be able to read anything at the beginning of your complaint. However, as the weeks go by, he asks friends, clergymen and librarians for recommendations. You will be surprised by the wealth of material that will help you heal.
7. Put a name to your self-pity and parenting time because it’s a big deal. It is part of a healthy adjustment to a major loss. Call it “My time” or “Be nice to me time” (or for 30 minutes). Find a catchy name and expect it like something you deserve, like you deserve.
Then make a habit of taking a walk to your favorite coffee shop, whether it’s a Mobil station or a Starbucks. Exercise alone can be very helpful as an outlet for tension and anxiety. Give a warm hello to the person behind the counter. Human contact is essential.
In short, starting a new routine like the ones recommended above, or inventing one of your own, is a critical factor in readjustment. Remember that it is very important, part of your new life to start small routines that give you enjoyment and contact with others. Taking care of yourself is your right and obligation when doing your grievance job.